Gee I didn't see the "wonderful" Wes Craven flick CURSED mentioned in this thread. I wonder why? Oh yes...now I remember, that movie SUCKED!
I just ran across an old review I wrote for it and thought I'd share. What do you guys think, was I too harsh or not harsh enough?
Reviewed by Brian M. Sammons
I see a bad film rising.
The team that brought you the Scream trilogy (Craven, Williamson, and Dimension Films) get back together and try the make box office gold. Do they succeed? Well let me just say that this film's name is more of a prophecy of how it turned out than a title for the film. Let me explain…
This film has all the bad things that the Scream movies had without any of the good. First let's run down the bad checklist. Does CURSED overdose on teen angst? Check. Forced dialog that is way too glib? Check again. An annoying cast of relatively unknown pretty people? You betcha. Unbelievably trite plot twists? Oh yeah. People popping up during the film's climax in a feeble attempt to leave the audience guessing as to whom the killer (or in this case: werewolf) is? Naturally.
Now for the good parts of Scream that are not in this film. A smidgen of creativity to overcome the ridiculous story? No. A great opening scene? Nope. Any good kill scenes at all? Not here. A self-aware irreverence used for good comic effect? Not this time. The tiniest shred of tension? You're kidding, right?
To add to the list of indictments against this film that never should have seen the light of day let me point out that it is a horror film that is never once scary. There is not even a single scene that could be called thrilling, suspenseful, shocking, terrifying, or anything other than achingly dull. The best that Cursed can muster is a pretty good scene with a woman trapped by the werewolf in the elevator. That's it, that is all that is remotely horrific in this supposed “horror” movie. Those three minutes of the film are not totally bad but it is a crying shame that the other ninety-four minutes of Cursed's runtime is as enjoyable to sit through as a prostate exam performed via a power drill with a two-foot-long, dull, red hot drill bit mounted to it.
No, actually this film is worse that that.
The story involves a young brother and sister who are bitten by a werewolf, begin to play out scenes straight out of Michael J. Fox's Teen Wolf (except here wrestling takes the place of basketball), run afoul of yet more werewolves, get chases around by a were-dog, then have a showdown at an incredibly cheesy looking nightclub/theme restaurant. Along the way there are plenty of gay jokes, horrible looking computer generated werewolf transformation scenes, teen romance, werewolves climbing on the ceiling like a cats but no blood or nudity or terror or style or anything else that might make this film even remotely enjoyable.
Wes Craven has said that the reason that this film stinks so bad, is universally lambasted by critics, is laughed at by horror fans, and made less at the box office than the last Carrot Top flick is because the studio took the film out of his hands and butchered it badly in an effort to get that highly lucrative PG-13 rating. If this is the case then Dimension Films got what it deserved with this turkey. If this is not the case and this is just Wes Craven covering his own butt after knowingly making an awful film then the one time master of horror needs to stop making movies right now! After all, Uwe Boll (director of House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark ) has got the corner of the “my God did that movie suck” horror market covered and he doesn't need any competition.
I give Cursed a 1 out of 10.