My deepest thoughts of 2011 (mostly from Twitter, so you know they're extra deep).
• There are few things in life better than a Fall day and a half-finished book. One of them is drugs
• My favorite plural noun has to be "Draculas."
• I didn't know "enfant terrible" was French for "personality disorder." Just kidding I did
• "Every cloud has a silver lining." I think your brain is lined with mercury
• Picturing the climax of Raiders with everyone's faces melting set to the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme
• Should the zompocalypse occur, and one of the dead picks up a gun & aims at you, the best thing is to point at it & say "You can't do that."
• Always fun to end a story by placing the protagonist in a straitjacket. Haha fuck you protagonist
• Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Your mom.
• Decades-old paperbacks smell like happy.
• It's the almost-thought that counts! I'm almost thinking nearly all the time.
• If no one has yet made an album called AVANT-GARDE UP YOUR ASS, someone should.
• Subconscious tip of the day: according to my tape recorder, I awoke sometime in the middle of the night and muttered, "If you've got the gift, expect the grift." So be ready for it I guess
• If you name your kid "Scut" he's probably going to be a malcontent.
'Twas the night before Christmas in Hell
and Satan lit out for a spell.
As he flew 'round the earth
Hades hollered with mirth,
"Last Yuletide before 2012!"