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[William D Carl]

"Mommy Mommy, what's a werwolf?"
"Shut up and comb your face."

Anyone have any others? 
Bill

[William D Carl]

Why was the werewolf arrested in the butchers shop?
He was chop-lifting.
How do you stop a werewolf howling in the back of a car?
Put him in the front.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and werewolf.
What did the werewolf write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season.
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?
A monster with an all-over perm.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they're asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer.
What parting gift did a mommy werewolf give to her son when he left home?
A comb.
Where does a werewolf sit in the theater?
Anywhere he wants to!
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes.

Bill

[Lane Adamson]

How does a werewolf eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.

What's furry and seldom rings?  An unlisted werewolf.

[William D Carl]

Ha!  Keep em comin' folks!
Bill

[Doug (Ancient) Wojtowicz]

What's a werewolf's least favorite beer?  Coors, the "Silver bullet."

*****************************

Two werewolves and a vampire are sitting at a roadside.  The werewolves are gnawing on rancid roadkill and making the vampire feel nauseous.  The vampire spots a human in a suit and carrying a briefcase walking down the street. 

"'Scuse me lads, goin' for a bite."  The vampire rushes off and is about to attack the human when he turns back and sits down dejectedly by the werewolves.

"Why didn't you suck his blood?" the werewolves asked.

"He's a lawyer.  Professional courtesy between bloodsuckers," the vampire answered. "Why not go eat him rather than that filthy rotted carcass?"

The werewolves shrug and trot over to the human.  They take one sniff of him, then head back and continue to eat their carrion.

"That was fresh meat!  Why'd you pass it up?" the vampire complains.

"He's going into politics," one wolf says, slurping a moldy kidney down his gullet.

The other werewolf burps, the stench of a length of bowel coming up with the belch. "Yeah, man.  Some crap's too rotten for even US to eat..."

[Zombie Zak]

SIGNS YOU WORK WITH A WEREWOLF:

 

* Still hasn't forgiven Michael J. Fox for "Teen Wolf."

* Newly installed keg of Nair in men's room.

* His Wolfman Jack impression is eerily authentic.

* Five o'clock shadow appears around 8:30 am.

* Only *guy* you know who circles several days a month in red on his desk calendar.

* Says, "Great job on the Hanrahan account!" and then humps your leg.

* Domino's guy asks, "who ordered the large Cheese and Raw Beef Special?"

* Adamantly refuses to drink Coors Light.

* In lieu of annual bonus, prefers a good scratching behind the ears.

* Suddenly sports a beard when mooned at office holiday party.

* Water cooler conversations always end with talk of "kickin' Ol' Yellar's ass."

* "Severance pay" has taken on a whole new meaning lately..

* Vending machine always out of Milk Bones.

* Your sarcastic little "Bite me!" nets you 12 stitches.

* Always calls in sick with "mange."

* Coughs up a hairball during morning staff meeting.

* Has more hair on his back than you've got on your head, and he's NOT ED ASNER!

[Doug (Ancient) Wojtowicz]

Zak ftw!

[Zombie Zak]

What did the vampire say to the werewolf?

"Get a haircut."

[Matthew]

Found on the web:

#10 - Shaving nineteen times a day seems perfectly normal.

#9 - You wish people would stop using those damn annoying dog whistles!

#8 - Prefer MilkBones over Famous Amos cookies.

#7 - Like to have sex face-to-face when you're feeling kinky.

#6 - Are always a little disappointed when your blood-rare steak doesn't make any noise during dinner.

#5 - Chase the bus even when you're not late for work.

#4 - Pretend to have a bladder problem so that you can mark your territory.

#3 - Understand what the coyotes are saying in old Westerns.

#2 - On your deerhunting license, the preferred weapon choice is 'my teeth and claws'.

And the top reason why you might be a werewolf is....

#1 - You are scared to death of the Lone Ranger

[Bobbie]

#1 - You are scared to death of the Lone Ranger

I'm scared of his big shiny gun.  Does that count?

[Lane Adamson]

Why do werewolves have flat feet?  From putting out forest fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?  From putting out burning werewolves.

 

[Matthew]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/LNNg8z1gmVg" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/LNNg8z1gmVg</a>