Permuted Press

  • May 22, 2013, 06:21:57 AM
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

THE FORUM HAS BEEN UPGRADED! Please report any problems or concerns in the Forum Support area.

Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE  (Read 11324 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Travis Adkins

  • Author of TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Divinity: 29
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 497
  • Clive is still awesome.
    • View Profile
    • Twilight of the Dead
After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« on: January 20, 2008, 06:34:09 AM »

This is the first time I'll be showing this, so hopefully it gets good feedback.
Logged
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?" --George Daacon

DreamingNeonBlack

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Divinity: 28
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1399
    • View Profile
    • http://dreamneonblack.deviantart.com/gallery/
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2008, 08:46:44 AM »

just read it, nice intro. I liked the way everyone is getting a little too comfortable in EastPointe....so you know something is going to happen.
Logged
A dark wave comes, sanity slips away and she screams from the alcove, I am the dog.

Travis Adkins

  • Author of TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Divinity: 29
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 497
  • Clive is still awesome.
    • View Profile
    • Twilight of the Dead
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2008, 09:13:25 AM »

just read it, nice intro. I liked the way everyone is getting a little too comfortable in EastPointe....so you know something is going to happen.

Thanks, DreamingNeonBlack!

But, after careful consideration, I have decided to rename the book. Henceforth, let this sequel be dubbed Eighteen Wheeler: Walking with the Dead: Zombies and Rock Stars: My Life Story. Everyone seems to agree that it's for the best.
Logged
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?" --George Daacon

DreamingNeonBlack

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Divinity: 28
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1399
    • View Profile
    • http://dreamneonblack.deviantart.com/gallery/
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2008, 09:14:19 AM »

hmmmm, new title is a little short don't you think?
I mean it doens't give me a sense of what the story is about.
Logged
A dark wave comes, sanity slips away and she screams from the alcove, I am the dog.

Travis Adkins

  • Author of TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Divinity: 29
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 497
  • Clive is still awesome.
    • View Profile
    • Twilight of the Dead
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2008, 09:16:33 AM »

hmmmm, new title is a little short don't you think?
I mean it doens't give me a sense of what the story is about.

Darn, you're right...

Okay, henceforth let this novel be dubbed: Eighteen Wheeler: Walking with the Dead: Zombies and Rock Stars: My Life Story: Don't get bite or you'll get infect!.
Logged
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?" --George Daacon

Matt-M-McElroy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Divinity: 12
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 606
    • View Profile
    • Flames Rising
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2008, 09:19:31 AM »

Downloaded.

I'll try and get to it after I finish up an editing project and a couple of new reviews...

Regards,

Matt
Logged
Buried Tales of Pinebox, Texas
Stories from David Wellington, Derek Gunn, Jess Hartley, Shane Hensley and more!
Buy it: Amazon.com or DriveThruHorror.com

DreamingNeonBlack

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Divinity: 28
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1399
    • View Profile
    • http://dreamneonblack.deviantart.com/gallery/
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2008, 09:49:46 AM »

hmmmm, new title is a little short don't you think?
I mean it doens't give me a sense of what the story is about.

Darn, you're right...

Okay, henceforth let this novel be dubbed: Eighteen Wheeler: Walking with the Dead: Zombies and Rock Stars: My Life Story: Don't get bite or you'll get infect!.

change the last part to " or you'll become infection "
Logged
A dark wave comes, sanity slips away and she screams from the alcove, I am the dog.

Travis Adkins

  • Author of TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Divinity: 29
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 497
  • Clive is still awesome.
    • View Profile
    • Twilight of the Dead
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2008, 09:52:47 AM »

hmmmm, new title is a little short don't you think?
I mean it doens't give me a sense of what the story is about.

Darn, you're right...

Okay, henceforth let this novel be dubbed: Eighteen Wheeler: Walking with the Dead: Zombies and Rock Stars: My Life Story: Don't get bite or you'll get infect!.

change the last part to " or you'll become infection "


How's this: Eighteen Wheeler: Walking with the Dead: Zombies and Rock Stars: My Life Story: Don't get bite or you'll get infection! We want your brians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Logged
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?" --George Daacon

DreamingNeonBlack

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Divinity: 28
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1399
    • View Profile
    • http://dreamneonblack.deviantart.com/gallery/
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2008, 09:54:02 AM »

niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
NOW I know what the story is about.
Logged
A dark wave comes, sanity slips away and she screams from the alcove, I am the dog.

Travis Adkins

  • Author of TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Divinity: 29
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 497
  • Clive is still awesome.
    • View Profile
    • Twilight of the Dead
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2008, 10:08:28 AM »

niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
NOW I know what the story is about.

Whew! Getting the title just right is more complicated than it sounds! I appreciate your help!
Logged
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?" --George Daacon

Permuted Press

  • The Boss
  • Administrator
  • Forum God
  • *****
  • Divinity: 107
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6310
    • View Profile
    • Permuted Press
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2008, 12:11:57 PM »

How's this: Eighteen Wheeler: Walking with the Dead: Zombies and Rock Stars: My Life Story: Don't get bite or you'll get infection! We want your brians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I'm going to have to throw my weight around a bit as the publisher:

Eighteen Wheeler: Walking with the **DEAD!**: Zombies and Rock, Stars: Your Life Story!!: Don't get bite or you'll become infection! We want your BRIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Roll on??

Now we're getting closer.
Logged
Follow Permuted Press:    

"[Jacob] is the post-apocalyptic high priest."--Rhiannon Frater, author THE FIRST DAYS

HOO-HAA

  • Zen Master
  • *
  • Divinity: 59
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3481
  • tAttOOed HORROR!!
    • View Profile
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2008, 12:14:58 PM »

But... shouldn't that be 'Teenager Rock stars' in yon title. Trav?  ;)

I liked the prologue - immediately engaging. Effortlessly warm writing style. Good character development, from the outset.

I'm looking forward to reading more...  :)
Logged

Permuted Press

  • The Boss
  • Administrator
  • Forum God
  • *****
  • Divinity: 107
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6310
    • View Profile
    • Permuted Press
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2008, 12:22:40 PM »

Great stuff!  In the first line "rather wouldn’t do" sounds awkward... maybe just "would rather not do"?
Logged
Follow Permuted Press:    

"[Jacob] is the post-apocalyptic high priest."--Rhiannon Frater, author THE FIRST DAYS

Travis Adkins

  • Author of TWILIGHT OF THE DEAD
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Divinity: 29
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 497
  • Clive is still awesome.
    • View Profile
    • Twilight of the Dead
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2008, 03:51:06 PM »

Great stuff!  In the first line "rather wouldn’t do" sounds awkward... maybe just "would rather not do"?

Hey, you're right. (Even an editor needs an editor.) But I think an even better change would be, "he did not want to do it he say no I don't want to! Get me more woods!"
Logged
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?" --George Daacon

Permuted Press

  • The Boss
  • Administrator
  • Forum God
  • *****
  • Divinity: 107
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6310
    • View Profile
    • Permuted Press
Re: After Twilight: Walking with the Dead - PROLOGUE
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2008, 04:08:38 PM »

But I think an even better change would be, "he did not want to do it he say no I don't want to! Get me more woods!"

Brilliant!
Logged
Follow Permuted Press:    

"[Jacob] is the post-apocalyptic high priest."--Rhiannon Frater, author THE FIRST DAYS
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up