alright, i've just finished this. i have a friend like John, and his name is Justin.
i think the second time we met, i was saying something he didn't want to hear, so he screwed his eyes shut, grabbed my shirt and let go, making noises with his mouth somewhere between a jet engine and a kid trying to whistle with too many pop rocks in his cheeks.
he opened his eyes and then did a great double-take, seemingly surprised that i was still standing there.
"you're still standing there," he said. "i'm surprised. i thought i launched you into the sun." he glared at his hands as if they were traitors and he didn't trust them any more. "gotta get those checked out."