Deep thoughts with the Poetic Zombie
By Alessia Giacomi
Welcome friends! Most of you know me as A.Giacomi, Author of the upcoming Eve Brenner: Zombie Girl Series. I’m also known affectionately as The Poetic Zombie, this is my alter ego and I’m very excited to be bringing her to life (more like back to life) on a monthly basis!
Join me here at www.permutedpress.com for a monthly diary entry all about life as an undead teenage girl…you thought living was easy? You thought wrong…braaaaaains…
• • •
This whole “infected” thing is getting soooooo annoying already! I’m finding it really hard to concentrate in school. The students look delicious, and I don’t mean their cute outfits. Like Megan’s outfits are always cute, but her face looks so good I might actually tear it off. I’m not jealous of Megan and her good looks and popularity I just think good-looking young people taste better.
My parents keep badgering me about my marks, and yeah they’re pretty poor I’ll admit, but let me explain it this way: Imagine you hadn’t eaten in two months, the smell of fresh baked cupcakes fill the room, and one of them is so close you could just reach out and grab it…only problem is those “cupcakes” are people…and that’s, well, gross!
Of course I can’t tell my parents any of this stuff, they wouldn’t understand, they’d probably just take me to the doctor thinking that pills or therapy could fix me. A few teachers have been asking if they could help me or if I needed a tutor, but I really didn’t feel comfortable being alone with anyone since the whole Mr.Burton incident. It’s not every day you eat your teacher…ah well he wasn’t that nice anyway.
With my grades sucking as hard as they did, my parents decided to ground me. Only problem was that Megan had invited me to one of her house parties. I had never been to one before, and how could I not go? When the popular kids invite you somewhere…you go! I didn’t mention the party to my parents, I agreed to being grounded and behaved myself, I just left out the part where I was going to sneak out in the middle of the night to attend Megan’s party anyway.
My eyes were starting to look a bit dark and sunken so I decided to work with it. The whole Avril Lavigne look seemed to hide my imperfections and actually looked quite glam. I decided to wear some cutoff shorts and a white tank. Simple is better, I didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself, maybe just enough to get Jason to notice me. He’s so hot, but much too popular to notice me.
Anyway when I get there the party is slammed with people. I can barely get through the door. One girl whips her hair in my face and when I get a whiff of it I have to do everything in my power not to tear her scalp off (Was that Herbal Essences? mmm) Everyone in the place smelled delicious and I decide that alcohol would help me forget my tiny little problem. I have a few shots of something I can’t pronounce and immediately feel sick. I head upstairs cuz I didn’t want to barf in front of everyone at the party.
I get upstairs and bust into the first room I find, and just guess who’s already there?! Miss Megan with her paws all over my hottie! I was so mad I was seeing red…no literally…the entire room looked red. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me but those two sure looked scared. Before I knew it I had pounced on them. I might have taken a few chunks out of Megan’s face and completely torn off Jason’s head, but could you really blame me? I mean the nerve of some people?! Invite me to a party only to piss me off, just awful.
I went home that night feeling a little sorry for myself. I was sure to floss before bed, I had chunks of people in my teeth. Yuck! I better work on this whole eating people thing, sooner or later people would find out if I didn’t start behaving. Luckily no one had even noticed I had left my room. Perfect alibi, grounded, so how could I possibly have gone to the party?
*note to self…rip this page out in the morning just in case*
• • •
Check back next week for the new installment of "Deep thoughts with the Poetic Zombie"!